Blueprint for

Legal, Absurdist, Bloodless

Revolution

PHASE 1: ELECTION

Based on precedent set in 2024, Luigi Mangione is eligible to become president regardless of the result of his trial. He is the ideal candidate for the B4LABR movement.

B4LABR consists of three pillars.

First, delay the hastening decay of democracy by promoting legislation to establish mandatory ranked voting at all levels of government.

Second, deny any proposal to exploit our national parks; dedicate America to meeting the goals of the Paris Climate Accords.

Third, depose any CEO whose income exceeds employees' median income by more than 1,000%. Depositions will be televised live before congress.

PHASE 2: EXECUTION

The Supreme Court has ruled that the president is not liable for any act committed in the execution of official presidential duties.

One-on-one meetings will be arranged between the president and any legislator or CEO found in opposition to B4LABR's three pillars.

Reconciliation will be achieved by any means necessary, up to and including legal force.

PHASE 3: ENRICHMENT

The only way to end a parody is to parody the parody!

Join the Parody Party to parody your part!

All parody (and satire) on this site is legally protected by Fair Use and Free Speech, but laws only matter in America if you have money!

Help me defend against future lawsuits by buying some merch to support the B4LABR movement!

Disclaimer: I neither condone nor promote violence. This site is whatever percent parody/satire is necessary to protect it under Fair Use and the First Amendment.